This is us.

I don't have very many pictures of us on here, so here are a few of our engagements. I remember this day. It was January 19, 2010. The wind was blowing so hard and it had to have been at least 81 below. haha. needless to say, we were completely frozen inside and out. The engagement-picture-day is one of those days after you're engaged that you think "wow. i'm really getting married."

Brennen and I met through a mutual friend. About a month earlier, i had ended an eight month relationship. This mutual friend of ours asked if he could set me up on a date with a good buddy of his. I thought "this could be fun. why not?" I was game if he was. Later that week, on a Sunday afternoon, i was woken from a wonderful nap by my roommate. "He's really cute!" was all the preamble i recieved.

Stopping in front of the mirror to glance at my bon jovi t-shirt, black dress pants (that i decided were comfy enough to sleep in), and nap hair, i made my way to the living room. I remember what he was wearing. bluejeans. airwalk sandals, and a louisville cardinals t-shirt. Our meeting was awkward. We planned for our date, he asked me for my phone number, and we both went on with our lives. A few days later, our mutual friend said that he would not be able to make it on our date (we were going to double). All sense of security left me and i tried to remain cool about the whole thing. A few days later, our date came. my roommate lovingly picked out my outfit and told me how to do my hair and makeup.

Knock. Knock. Knock. Taking one last look in the mirror, i opened the door. He didn't look half as nervous as i felt. and so we left. We doubled with another couple, the manlier side of which i had met once, so a familiar face calmed me a little. The first thing we did was go to the carousel where his sister worked. then it was out to the middle of nowhere to shoot guns. Great. Something i've only done maybe once before. luckily, i impressed him by swatting the mosquitoes away from his head. Oh, and my shooting didn't suck either. We quit when it started to rain. Jumping back into the big green van, we headed back into town. We stopped to play "rambo" with all his married friends. Awkward. After we lost miserably, we went for pizza. Sitting around a dark fire pit we shared our meal and chatted. then midnight came. we shared an awkward hug at the door and he was gone. I'd had fun, but never expected to hear from him again.Two days later my phone lit up with a call. It was Brennen inviting me to sit with him at Devo. Unfortunately i had to be at work in idaho falls during that time. I was so surprised he had called me back. We dated casually for about two months.

July 5, 2010, Brennen officially held my hand for the first time. We walked back to my apartment where Brennen sat me down and declared "I guess this means we're dating." The night had been so perfect to me that this totally caught me off guard. All i could say to that nervous face was "I guess we are." Looking back, i wish i could keep that moment forever. Neither of us knew how it would change us. we dated until September when neither of us knew if our relationship was going anywhere. Unfortunately, I didn't see progress in the future, so i ended it. I'll never forget that moment. When you're in utter shock, confused about what's going on. Crying the whole drive from rexburg to idaho falls, knowing you just broke someone's heart but telling yourself that you'll (and he'll) get over it. I cried for a week straight.

I had never been so miserable in my life. I talked to (another) mutual friend of ours who said that he had come to vent to her and her fiancée. She said he was crazy about me and couldn't

understand my reasoning for breaking it off.. my world was crushed.

I'm sure the only thing Heavenly Father planned to teach me through all this was that i can't live (or love) without Brennen. He has been a blessing to me in so many ways. He has taught me patience, compassion, humility. He has shown me how to love selflessly and live for the moment. We've had some really rough times. Our faith and devotion has been tested. but we fight. every step of the way to keep us together. unified. forever. the Lord has blessed us with much. if we just have faith, he continues to bless us. As long as brennen is in my life, i will be at home.happy.blessed.