Monday Musings: Working Moms

The Family: A proclamation to the World says, “mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children.”  Some people might take that to mean any of the following: 1. Women must stay at home and care for their children. 2. Mothers who work are not good mothers. 3. Mothers who work are unable to teach their children in the home.  Simply put, none of these are true.
My mother has worked outside the home for as long as I can remember.  In fact, she has been at the same job for over 22 years (and I’m 23).  I remember coming home from church one day as a youth, and my mom talking about something that was said in Sunday school.  One ward member (a male) had made a comment along the lines of, “mothers that work outside the home will go to hell.”  Well, you can imagine how any working mother might take that statement.  I don’t remember the details of how my mom reacted, or even how she felt, but I do clearly remember how I felt.   I wanted to find that guy and kick him in the shins.   As a teacher, I have come to realize that the greater learning takes place in the home, not in the classroom.  If children spent as much time in the classroom as they did at home, then the story would be different.  But the truth is kids just can’t sit still for that long.  Plus, the government wouldn’t fund it, but that’s a different argument for a different day.  The argument here is that working moms are unable to teach their children because they fail to be at the “crossroads” of their lives.  That may be so, but let me tell you about what my working mom was able to teach me while working 40 hours a week.
1. My mom taught me to work hard.  Good things do not come to those who sit on their butt.  Things that matter come to those who bite the bullet, get their hands dirty, and get stuff done.  She taught me that no matter what my dream was, all I needed to do to achieve it was put in the hours and elbow grease.
2. My mom taught me to dream.  My mom has always been my biggest cheerleader.  Whatever I wanted to do, she was behind me cheering me on.  Orchestra? Sure thing. Let me find my sister’s old violin so you don’t have to rent again (after I broke the first).  Color guard? Absolutely! Choir? I’ll be at every concert.  Anything I wanted to do, she was behind me 100%.  When it came to what college I wanted to go to, she was more than happy I picked BYU-I.  When it came to my career choice, she couldn’t see me doing anything differently.  Although she couldn’t come to Chicago on Bonnevaire’s tour with me, I knew she was back home, cheering for me.
3. My mom taught me to listen to the spirit.  Her example has always been my biggest teacher.  I really started to take advantage of her wisdom when I was in college.  I always knew that if I had a question, to take it to the Lord and wait for an answer.  She always encouraged me to take advantage of having a priesthood holder in the home and receive blessings from my dad.  When I got my patriarchal blessing, she was right there beside me, taking in all the blessings my life had in store because she brought me into the world
4. My mom instilled in me a love of music.  She taught me to use my talents to bless the lives of others.  Because of her example and encouragement and support, best friends have become like family and my life is richer for it.  I can bear testimony of my Savior in a way that many cannot, and for that I will be forever grateful to her.
5. My mom taught me how to be a mother.  You might not guess it, but yes.  My working mother has taught me more about motherhood than any book written, or lecture given, or scientific study performed ever could.  Because she gave all she had for her family.  Every moment she did not spend at home was spent doing something for or with her family.  The fact that she worked didn’t change that.
You see, not everyone is lucky enough to be a stay-at-home mom.  And those who have circumstances that don’t allow them to be there shouldn’t be condemned for it.  My grandmother passed away when my mother was only 7 months old.  Being the youngest child with the next oldest sibling 15 years older, she was raised by her single father.  She never had a mother.  Not really.  In the big scheme of things, I think she did a pretty good job.  And I think the Lord knows that too, and even though she wasn’t there waiting for us kids after school with milk and warm chocolate chip cookies, I think he’s willing to overlook that.  Because He loves her, and He knows she did the best she could.  So if you meet a mom with a job, before you judge her, take a moment to thank your Heavenly Father that you can be with your kids all day.  Because chances are, the working mom wishes she could be too.