Awkward and Awesome

It’s baaaaack!! That’s right. Awkward and awesome is back!! I know you are all sooo excited.  Well, at least I am.  So, without further ado, I give you:
AWKWARD AND AWESOME March 2014
Awkward:
1. Having two consecutive days of work off, and feeling like everything has changed since you were there last.
2. Talking to people you don’t want to talk to about things you don’t want to talk about.
3. Spending your Tuesday night reading all the texts from your mom since the beginning of time.
4. Having someone explain to you that the reason he has lost weight is because his “girlfriend is in town.” We’re just going to say “Increased exercise.” Ya, that’s good.
5. Fantasy Football and Macrh Madness Brackets.  I just don’t get it.
6. Spending your 45 minute lunch break just trying to find a McDonalds.  You live in Phoenix.  How hard can this be?!
7. Having to go to McDonald’s after you dropped your Costa Vida birthday dinner leftovers on the floor.
8. Having a male and a female of the only two fish on the planet earth that have live births.  I’m a grandma!
9. Admitting to your husband of 4 years that you have the social personality of a crazy cat lady. MEOW!
10. When you have oily skin and even though your mascara is supposed to be waterproof, it smudges up under your eyebrows anyways.  “No, I wasn’t going for that look.”
AWESOME:
1. When I come home from work and the dishes are done!  Thanks, hubby!
2. Game nights with the hubs, working on our Settlers skills.
3. Those nights that I make AWESOME dinners.
4. Successfully recreating one of my mother-in-law’s dishes. If you want to commit a murder and make it look like heart failure, I’ll give you the recipe.
5. Jamberry Nails.  They’re like stickers. For your nails.
6. Listening to the Book of Mormon on my phone while folding laundry.  I made it through Alma in 4 days! That’s a lotta laundry!
7. Hemp Golden Glow Bronzing Moisturizer.  I’m one sunburn away from skin cancer, so this stuff is a lifesaver!—literally.
8. Illegal Lengths mascara.  I cut my eyelashes in 7th grade (WHY?!?).  Again, a lifesaver.
9. Finally choosing a mirror for my dining room wall! Now to just figure out a way to hang it…
10. Autocorrect Fails.  And Cake Fails.  If you Instagram, search the hashtag #cakefail. Find the Belle and Cinderella one.  You won’t be sorry.
Ah, Awkward and Awesome.  You never fail to disappoint. Thanks for helping me relive some of my most awkward moments of the week.